Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Repugnant Review: Terror Firmer (1999) - Lloyd Kaufman

Terror Firmer, in my honest opinion, is the greatest Troma film ever made. It's everything that is Troma, but on fucking crack. The copious amounts of gore, sex, and comedy are taken to a higher, fucked up level, and even to this day, I think it's Lloyd Kaufman's most extreme film. Terror Firmer centers around a Troma film crew working on their latest feature as each of them are picked off by a mysterious and sexy psychopath. The film itself is based on a book that Lloyd and James Gunn wrote called "All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I Learned From The Toxic Avenger: The Shocking True Story of Troma Studios", and other than the gruesome murders (unless Lloyd actually killed a few PA's on set), it's basically the same "story". Terror Firmer also stars Alyce LaTourelle, Will Keenan, Trent Haaga, Debbie Rochon, and Ron Jeremy, with kick-ass cameo's from Eli Roth, Lemmy Kilmister, Joe Lynch, Matt Stone, and Trey Parker.

So, during the making of the latest Toxic Avenger movie, members of the film crew start getting murdered in incredibly bizarre ways. Impaled by bongs, eaten by escalators, dismembered by moving trucks, shocked by stage lights... this movie depicts some of the coolest and cartoonish ways you can kill a person. During all of this, there is a love triangle between Jennifer (LaTourelle), Jerry (Haaga), and Casey (Keenan). There is so much wacky shit going on, that you can't look away from whatever the hell is happening. It can be a bit jarring, but in my opinion, a Troma movie is just an extremely graphic version of a Tom and Jerry cartoon. I'm not knocking it though, because I love the craziness of the entire film. Terror Firmer is just as nutty as it was in the beginning, up until the explosive finale, and you won't stop laughing for a single second. Did I also mention that, yes, this one also has the car flip scene... only involving a naked fat guy who just ran through Times Square with his insanely small donger hanging out. Holy shit... even thinking of all the other shit that happens in this movie is making my head spin. Scene after scene after scene... blood, gore, tits, and poop... what more could you ask for?

Terror Firmer is just one of those movies I watch constantly. I've seen it enough to recite more than half the movie word for word, and even when I'm writing my own scripts, I'll put it on for inspiration. It's honestly one of my favorite movies ever made, and I consider it the best Troma film ever made. I highly suggest picking this up, especially now considering Troma is re-releasing this on blu-ray for it's 20th anniversary this year. I also highly recommend the "Making Of" documentary "Farts of Darkness". It's just as funny as the actual film and I honestly can't get enough of Lloyd freaking out on everyone. I'll post a link down below to where you can find this film, along with the trailer as always. Watch this fucking movie, and let me know what you think!



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