Tuesday, September 29, 2015

GUTTERBALLS: THE PIN-ETRATION EDITION

I finally got around to checking this out, since a bunch of my buddies told me how sick it was, and you know what... it was ok. Gutterballs is a Canadian slasher movie about a girl named Lisa who gets raped by a group of bro dickheads after her friends get into a brawl with them during a bowling game. Now, what makes this the PIN-ETRATION EDITION is the couple extra clips they added during the rape scene, which showed a rubber cock entering an actual vagina. Shocking? sure, it definitely would make some nerd all hot and bothered, but it didn't really add to the scene. If anything, it took away from the act, making the scene look like a shitty amateur porno. The scene ends with the nerdy guy, who didn't want to partake in the rape (but still stuck around for some reason), being forced to shove a bowling pin up her cooch. Yikes.

But after this long and silly rape scene, it cuts right to the next night, where the same two groups of people face each other in another bowling match. Eventually every one in the bowling ally is brutally murdered, mostly with bowling related things like sharpened pins and crushing skulls with bowling balls, but the first death scene was actually pretty funny. One of Lisa's friends (who I thought was gay) ends up sixty-nine-ing the main Bro's "bitch" in the bathroom. In the act the killer comes in the room and presses on the chicks head, making her suffocate on his cock, and then the killer steps on the chicks ass, making the guy suffocate in her pussy. It was ridiculous, but I enjoyed it. Actually, it was the ridiculous ways these people died that really made this movie, and the special effects were pretty great.

I don't want to ruin for you guys, because I hate spoilers, so here's what I like and dislike about the movie. What I really liked about this movie was the deaths and special effects. I think my favorite death was when one of the jocks goes to check out the ball cleaning machine. He finds a nail inside and tried to fix it, but the killer sneaks up behind him and shoves his face inside. The killer pulls out his head the first time, and he has a gaping hole in his head, blood shooting everywhere. The jocks face is then pushed back into the machine after the killer makes some adjustments, and blood is shooting everywhere. The machine is turned off, his face was pulled out, and all you saw was a massive gory hole where the jocks face was. It was pretty well done, along with the other deaths, but that was my favorite. What I really disliked about this movie was the horrid acting and dialogue. I actually read this on wikipedia, but the word "fuck" was used 625 times in the movie, and trust me, it got really old quick. It almost ruined the film I think. The addition of the rubber cock in the rape scene was stupid too, and they only did that for that one scene which I thought was incredibly lame, since there were other sex scenes they could of used it in.

Overall, I would recommend this. You know, if I truly had to base this on dialogue and acting alone, then I would be a hypocrite. I've seen loads of awesome movies with wretched acting, so I can't really knock this film entirely based on the acting and dialogue. The special effects are sweet, the soundtrack is fitting, and it did have a very neat twist ending. Look out for this one.

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